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[Verse 1]
Pulled on the red and white
Like it’s body armor
First step down the hallway
He’s a walking drama
Copped “mate
You’re kidding”
Got a swing to the arm
Someone fake-gagged past him
Like the shirt did harm
[Chorus]
He’s a Holden shirt hero
Copping it all for the joke
Spit
Smack
Smart remarks
From people he barely knows
If this is just the warm-up
For the big wide world out front
Then wait till the Holden shirt hero
Actually leaves the house
[Verse 2]
Mum’s on the kitchen tiles
Filming from her phone
“Day three of the trial
He still hasn’t gone”
Dad’s in the backroom laughing
“Stats are looking grim”
The dog just wants his breakfast
Doesn’t care who wins
[Chorus]
He’s a Holden shirt hero
Copping it all for the joke
Spit
Smack
Smart remarks
From people he barely knows
[Bridge]
Clipboard in the lounge room
Graphs on the TV glow
“Control group: normal T‑shirts
Test group: logoed soul”
He shrugs
Sips his cereal
Milk ring on his lip
Says
“Guess the real experiment
Is how thin their skin can get”
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